We only met because I was selling a plant I couldn’t upkeep. She was second in line and the “very sure” sale fell through, bringing her to my house. We’d already exchanged pictures and videos of plants and talked about trading. She cut some special ones just for me. She came and showed me how to pot a plant and the exchanges just kept going from there.
My first thought when she arrived was “YES, she’s a bohemian girl! Like me!” I already knew we were kindred spirits the way she responded to my ad so passionately. What society may deem as TMI – I tend to read as pure, childlike and wondrous. I didn’t want the lady ahead of her to get the plant, I could see it was meant for her and after this interaction I could see this meeting was orchestrated for US. I love a divine conspiracy!
“I’m learning to not be selfish about death.” I knew immediately with this one sentence this interaction was an art piece.
After losing so many of her closest loved ones. Her father, best friend/partner, her brother…she found herself STUCK in grief. Debilitated. I couldn’t help but wonder, is this a lack of self compassion or the very piece she needed, to pick up her life and keep going?
She believes that spirits do linger if they felt needed and in so to release the ones she loved - she’s had to figure out a way to honor their lives by living her own.
I asked her – how after so much loss, can she trust life? She said she developed and inexplicable peace, and finds herself to live in gratitude. No longer chained by things that don’t matter.
A bullet adorns her ear ensuring she never forgets the part of herself most wouldn’t want to remember.
We have birthdays AND death days that intertwine.
MANY call for a music in her she struggles locate. For now maybe the music is in the garden she tends and her animal, friends.
Can this just be the place she belongs without the need to arrive? To somewhere, to some-thing, to some place of being? I didn’t feel so compelled to fight for the music as I did to just honor her as she is in this moment. I think, maybe she’s living the music. And maybe when the time is right – the song that channels through her voice will just be the interpretation of what she lives now.
I told her, I have a friend for her, I couldn’t wait for her to meet but after she asked if I was into foraging I said, "no – but now I don’t just have friend I want you to meet, I have a whole community."
This is Diggie and she reminded me today the best way to honor our loved ones (on this side of life and the other) is to LIVE. Isn't that all that we want for the people we love? Whether WE live or whether we die - I'd want you to live your life - and be happy.
Diggie "Living the Music"
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